The story takes place in contemporary times in a private house. The elderly yet vital protagonists, Husband – Charles, Wife – Kinga, 15 years his junior as well as the Guest – Mark (who will join later). The Husband and Wife spend the evening sitting in their armchairs, occasionally rise and walk about the room. They both look like they are in good shape, the atmosphere is relaxed, the couple sip wine, talk. At one point, the husband goes through a drawer and looks for a letter. The flat is modest but tastefully decorated. There are lots of fine contemporary paintings on the walls among others a portrait of Bruno Schulz and that of the Husband. An imposing library. And there are two walls with peculiar objects, knives and ropes. There is also a large display of family photographs, of two genealogical trees (one of the Husband and the other of his Wife), of the children and grandchildren.
SCENE I
MUSBAND You know…..( pensive)
WIFE Yes, darling?
HUSBAND I was wondering…..
WIFE Go on.
HUSBAND For some time I’ve been troubled with the thought that there’s something important in life that one has failed to…
WIFE Failed to do what?
HUSBAND … that we have failed to do….
WIFE We?
HUSBAND Yes, we.
WIFE You and me?
HUSBAND Yes, you and me.
WIFE What do you mean?
HUSBAND I’ve been thinking about certain failings, imperfections….. the very things that we missed.
WIFE And what did we miss?
HUSBAND You know, at our age…
WIFE You mean at your age!? You’re forgetting I’m fifteen years younger than you.
HUSBAND Well, all right. You are indeed much younger, nevertheless….
WIFE Nevertheless what?
HUSBAND Nevertheless, the thing that could make it better is clear identification marks….
WIFE What?
HUSBAND Identification marks.
WIFE What do you mean identification marks? Is our son not enough? Isn’t he our most important identification mark?
HUSBAND No, I mean, yes, you’re right, a son is a son, our most important mark…. identification mark. There’s nothing like it…
WIFE What is it then? What are you driving at?
HUSBAND I mean in each man there is still something like a desire for confirmation…
WIFE For confirmation?
HUSBAND Yes, for confirmation.
WIFE Pardon me? What sort of confirmation?
HUSBAND Well, the confirmation of what makes us realise that we existed, lived, went through something, that we thought, experienced, acted…
WIFE So you still need confirmations of all this?
HUSBAND I mean the thing we call memory… I realised the other day that we wrote too few letters to each other….
WIFE What on earth has come over you?
HUSBAND I just thought that we didn’t correspond with each other….
WIFE Now is the time for you to think about it!
HUSBAND You know how it is. You sit for days on end thinking…
WIFE So, don’t think too much, dear. Too much thinking breeds demons ….. (laughing). Maybe they have nailed you already?!
HUSBAND Please….
WIFE Well, all right, all right. Sorry.
HUSBAND Don’t you sometimes feel like looking closely at how things were with us? What we talked about, what atmosphere there was at our place, what feelings consumed us, what was good, and what was bad…?!
WIFE And what should have been between us? We both know what was good and what was bad. At the end of the day, we clearly remember everything. We have been married…
HUSBAND For fifty years.
WIFE (sourly) Do you have to rub it in?
HUSBAND I appreciate your sense of humour, sweetheart, but….
WIFE But what?
HUSBAND But I’m light on tangible evidence….
WIFE Tangible evidence?! For life?!
HUSBAND As confirmation of the fact that things were the way they were.
WIFE What things?
HUSBAND Well, our things, our life, subsistence, existence, destiny…
WIFE I don’t get it. What are you driving at?
HUSBAND Aren’t you interested to know how things really were?
WIFE Really? You must be mad! What do you mean by really? Are you questioning the fact that we have been married? That I have been your wife? And you have been my husband? Do you want to know if it really happened?!
HUSBAND Sweetheart, do not reduce everything to the absurd, to the grotesque.
WIFE I’m not, but I can’t see what you are implying. You do know we have been married. You do, do you?
HUSBAND Well, I do.
WIFE Well then, what else do you need? What are you looking for?
HUSBAND Exactly. What. That is the question.
WIFE ( laughing) Don’t be a Hamlet. For if you do, you will arrive at the phrase (acting out).. “For who would bear the whips and scorns of time?”
And this phrase sounds sinister.
HUSBAND Well done, you remember the scenes from Shakespeare. This will make things easier for us.
WIFE Which things?
HUSBAND That’s what I want to talk to you about.
WIFE Could you be more specific, please?
HUSBAND About a letter.
WIFE Which one?
HUSBAND The one you wrote me fifty years ago.
WIFE I wrote you a letter? Fifty years ago?
HUSBAND Yes, that’s right. Fifty years ago.
WIFE Are you sure?
HUSBAND Absolutely.
WIFE Are you sure it was me?
HUSBAND Who else could it have been? You. Only you. And you did it with your own fair hands.
WIFE I don’t remember. Haven’t you got it wrong?
HUSBAND No, I haven’t.
WIFE And do you have this letter?
HUSBAND I do.
WIFE Here at home?
HUSBAND Yes, here at home. Somewhere in the drawer.
WIFE Will you show it to me?
HUSBAND Sure, I will. That’s what I want to talk to you about.
WIFE Is it so important?
HUSBAND Very important.
WIFE Why?
HUSBAND Because there’s something absolutely essential in it.
WIFE What is it??
HUSBAND I can’t express, formulate, elucidate it….
WIFE You, of all people, can’t elucidate it? You, the writer?! A thinker, a master of words?!
HUSBAND Exactly, me, the writer ….. er…. a master of words. It’s something deep inside that cries out for being given voice, calls for an explanation, is intrusive , badgers you, but remains unidentifiable.
WIFE Another hint at identification?
HUSBAND Yes, identification.
WIFE What do you mean?
HUSBAND This state of our psyche…. consciousness….subconsciousness … memory… perhaps imagination and will; all that makes us responsible people.
WIFE Well, well, you mounted a high horse. And I’d thought you merely had that stupid letter in mind.
HUSBAND Anything but stupid!
WIFE All right then, don’t be cross. You mean a letter?
HUSBAND Yes, I mean a letter. A letter and….
WIFE So not just a letter?
HUSBAND You know, to my mind, it seems like a more profound, more significant matter. Philosophical I would say.
WIFE Our life?
HUSBAND Yes, our life. Oh, now I know, I’ve come up with the right word, I think…..
WIFE Which word?
HUSBAND Sense.
WIFE Sense? The sense of what?
HUSBAND This is what occupies my mind.
WIFE Which is supposed to be my letter? My letter to you?
HUSBAND Don’t you remember that letter?
WIFE ( firmly) No!
HUSBAND You don’t remember writing a letter to me. The only one.
WIFE The only one? Didn’t I write you any other one? No, this is rubbish….
HUSBAND If my memory serves me right, you wrote one more.
WIFE Just the two of them?
HUSBAND Yes, just the two of them.
WIFE During my entire life?
HUSBAND Yes, during your entire life.
WIFE After half a century of marriage, I’m finding out that my husband is tortured by a letter which I apparently wrote one day.
HUSBAND I keep coming back to it, I keep reading it again and again. I live and breathe it.
WIFE You are talking about the other letter?
HUSBAND No, about the first one.
WIFE Do you keep reading it? Again and again?
HUSBAND Yes, I keep reading it again and again, I keep thinking about it, I keep wondering what it means and I keep examining it. This one sentence in particular.
WIFE Which sentence?
HUSBAND It’s horrible! Sinister I should say.
WIFE Horrible? Sinister?
HUSBAND Yes, precisely. Horrible, sinister!
WIFE Why?
HUSBAND Because I keep having nightmares, phantoms, hallucinations each time I read it.
WIFE Aren’t you blowing things up out of all proportion? Are they that bad? Does the other letter also make you anxious?
HUSBAND Maybe not so much as the first one, but it does distress me. I bear it in mind, I clearly remember all your said, especially this one sentence.
WIFE One sentence again? Like in the previous letter?
HUSBAND Yes, the one sentence. Like in the previous letter.
WIFE But letters tend to contain lots of sentences.
HUSBAND But there is always some sentence, the one that particularly sticks in one’s memory. And it sticks like a splinter.
WIFE Isn’t it a figment of your imagination? Or a product of a sick mind?
HUSBAND Don’t be surly, sweetheart. Do you want to insult or humiliate me?
WIFE No, by no means. But I do know that your fantasy conjures up unimaginable, astonishing visions. It just crossed my mind that perhaps….
HUSBAND … that perhaps I got ideas?
WIFE Not exactly ideas. I’m simply looking for grounds, origins….
HUSBAND You see, you have nailed it….
WIFE What have I nailed?
HUSBAND The fact that we are in search of origins. That we want to know as much as possible and go to great lengths to look into our world, lives, surroundings, conflicts, tensions, dramas, self-knowledge. And finally, into the proofs we have. That something was such and such. Put in another way, we are constantly after something … confirming facts, ideas, let alone delusions, illusions, ravings….
WIFE Now I have found out about something you have kept from me for half a century.
HUSBAND Don’t talk out of the back of your head! I have never kept anything from you.
WIFE What do you mean you never have? You did say so a moment ago.
HUSBAND I said what?
WIFE Well, that you had been tormented by one sentence.
HUSBAND I have, but I have never concealed it. I just kept thinking about it. It disturbed me, but I didn’t conceal it.
WIFE What nightmarish sentence is that? Are you sure it was me who wrote it?
MĄŻ It was you for sure. But it won’t explain an episode from our life.
WIFE And what sort of episode do you mean?
HUSBAND A very important one. And that’s why I wanted to talk to you about it today.
WIFE Talk to me just about that particular sentence?
HUSBAND Sweetheart, I reiterate: it wasn’t just one sentence or any sentence. It was a very important sentence concerning a very important episode. And I would like to explain things once and for all.
WIFE It never occurred to me that I could have written anything like that. And that something can be written only to be remembered for half a century. Let me see that letter.
HUSBAND ( rising) I think it’s somewhere here ( he opens one of the drawers)
SCENE II
The same arrangement.
HUSBAND ( demonstrating a letter) There you go, this is the letter. In red ink.
WIFE In red ink?
HUSBAND Yes, in red ink.
WIFE ( indignant ) I have never written in red ink. The letter isn’t mine.
HUSBAND It’s yours, darling, yours. It was you who wrote it.
WIFE Are you sure it was me?
HUSBAND Absolutely. These are your words. It was you who wrote them in red ink. ( showing her the letter ) Don’t you recognise it?
WIFE ( looking from a distance, firmly ) No!
HUSBAND But this is your handwriting, your style, language, means of expression….
WIFE ( angrily) But I have never written in red ink.
HUSBAND ( handing the letter to her) Take a close look….
WIFE ( taking the letter and looking at it) No, it wasn’t me who wrote it. It must have been another woman. Maybe one of your ….
HUSBAND Sweetheart, what do you mean by another one? What do you mean by “my”? After all, you know….
WIFE ( resentful ) What is it that I know?
HUSBAND That I haven’t had any other woman.
WIFE And how about this letter?
HUSBAND What do you mean?
WIFE Well, the red ink?
HUSBAND You might have forgotten….
WIFE Don’t press me. I said it wasn’t me and that’s it.
HUSBAND The letter provides a description of a situation…..
WIFE What situation?
HUSBAND The one that shows the existence of a conflict between us….
WIFE What do you mean?
HUSBAND Let’s read the letter. Do you want to read it?
WIFE ( sulking, gives the letter back) No, I don’t. Why don’t you read it for your own sake?
HUSBAND Not for my sake, but for our sake.
WIFE ( grumpy) Well, all right, for our sake.
HUSBAND ( reading) “My dearest….”
WIFE ( resentful, repeating to herself scornfully) “My dearest…?!”
HUSBAND ( repeats) “My dearest…”
WIFE ( jealous) You don’t need to repeat it twice…. Is it that important for you?
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, not so important…. Even though this expression … may be important, it is not the most important one.…
WIFE So we’re in for something even more important?
HUSBAND Yes, sweetheart, there will be something more important.
WIFE Well, I never.
HUSBAND Can I read on?
WIFE If you have to?!
HUSBAND I don’t have to. I want to.
WIFE Well, go on.
HUSBAND “My dearest”….
WIFE Is that what it says?
HUSBAND Yes, precisely. ”My dearest”…
WIFE Well, no, you have gone overboard with this….That’s what she used to call you?
HUSBAND Sweetheart, I beg of you….
WIFE Read on, but no more “my dearest”. It’s unbearable.
HUSBAND ( in a conciliatory spirit) All right, sweetheart, let me read on… “Why is this existence in need of pain?”
WIFE What did you say?
HUSBAND Pain.
WIFE What pain? That’s absolute rubbish.
HUSBAND Well, this is what you are saying….
WIFE Me? But I’m driving it home to you like to a child…
HUSBAND Well, all right, all right….
WIFE What do you mean “all right”?
HUSBAND Let’s show some goodwill…. I read on….
WIFE ( grumbling) I’m full of goodwill. Read on…
HUSBAND “I was leaving slowly and felt the arms of pain embracing me…
WIFE ( grumbling ) A poetess or what?! Ugh, “The arms of pain”?! She sounds like a hack or something!
HUSBAND ( ignoring her spitefulness) “Your silhouette, so precious…
WIFE ( mocking silently) “So precious?!”….
HUSBAND … “began passing from sight….I felt I had to jump off, run up to you, Sir, hug you”…
WIFE ( surprised, loudly) So you two didn’t know each other well back then?…. Weren’t you on first-name terms? ( pouting) “Sir!?”
HUSBAND Sweetheart, don’t be spiteful, I beg of you. We’ll clear everything up in no time.
WIFE There’s nothing to be cleared up here.
HUSBAND There are a great many things to clear up.
WIFE Aren’t you making too much of it?
HUSBAND No, I’m not.
WIFE Well, all right then. Read on.
HUSBAND But don’t interrupt, please.
WIFE Read on, read on. ( to herself) “Red ink”. That’s unheard of!
HUSBAND …but my legs were heavy. Where are you, Sir, where are you, my dear?!
WIFE ( cannot resist, to herself) “Sir, my dear”!?
HUSBAND … “How little I deserve you”…. (pauses, hesitates)
WIFE Go on, go on, what holds you back? Are you relishing every single word?
HUSBAND No, not every single one. We’ll come back to it in a moment.
WIFE We’ll come back to what?
HUSBAND Well, to that…… sentence…..We need to clarify it…, interpret…., understand….
WIFE What is there to interpret….understand? Some girlie clung to you ….. like a limpet…
HUSBAND Sweetheart, please….
WIFE OK, OK, I give in.
HUSBAND “How I wish I could snuggle up to you with nothing on this cold, painful evening”.
WIFE ( bitingly) So you did know each other at the time. Good… ( grumbling) “with nothing on”… snuggle up to you”?! Not bad. And to think I had no idea about that?!
HUSBAND ( smiling ) You did know, you did…
WIFE Me?
HUSBAND Well, yes, you. And you knew it perfectly well.
WIFE Rubbish! Read on.
HUSBAND “I am trembling trying to evoke your image”.
WIFE ( to herself) Well, well, trembling … She was trembling…With delight perhaps?!
HUSBAND “Everything’s frozen, time has stopped, there’s nothing but memories of helplessness”.
WIFE ( ironically to herself ) “Memories of helplessness””!? Come off it!
HUSBAND “The walls I cannot pass through are arising”.
WIFE ( to herself) Well, that’s something! She cannot pass through?! At least there’s something she cannot pass through! ( hissing) A slut!
HUSBAND “There’s some ruthlessness to human nature, the ruthlessness which keeps demanding new arrivals”.
WIFE ( to herself) But she’s being a philosopher, is she?! ( snorting) “keeps demanding new arrivals”!? Big deal?!
HUSBAND What are you muttering?
WIFE ( reflectively ) “Keeps demanding new arrivals”.
HUSBAND Sorry?
WIFE Never mind, go on.
HUSBAND “What is truth?”.
WIFE ( to herself ) Wow, she’s hit her mental peak! A girlie thinks she’s reached the peak of knowledge. ( pouting ) “What is truth?” Another Pilate, no doubt about it!
HUSBAND “Sir, how can I complete this long journey made of two days and two nights?”
WIFE ( to her husband) So you used to see each other behind my back every other day and I foolishly believed you were so marvellous and faithful. ( mockingly) “Darling, I adore you!”; “I miss you”; “O, my angelic dream?!”. And all of a sudden, some pain in the neck finds it hard to survive two days and nights without you.
HUSBAND Be patient, sweetheart. I beg of you….We’ll clear it up in a moment.
WIFE There is nothing to clear up! It’s as clear as day that you used to see each other. And you have the nerve to rave over her scribble in my presence. How disgusting!
HUSBAND Let me finish, I beg of you.
WIFE I won’t.
HUSBAND But this is…
WIFE There is no “but this is”. This scrap of paper insults me. Listening to the mumbo-jumbo penned by a mistress of yours is beneath me!
HUSBAND A mistress? What are you talking about?
WIFE Not a mistress? So what do you call these sluts today?
HUSBAND ( laughing) I was right.
WIFE You were right? How so? What are you being up to?
HUSBAND I’m not being up to anything, I’m about to conclude.
WIFE Now what conclusion do you have in mind?
HUSBAND That of the letter.
WIFE ( angrily) I thought that of the slut story!
HUSBAND Be patient, I beg of you.
WIFE ( reluctantly ) All right, do conclude then.
HUSBAND “But will I be blessed with being able to sit next to you?”
WIFE Well, really, how gentle of her! ( displeased ) A bitch!
HUSBAND This is it.
WIFE The end?
HUSBAND Yes, the end.
WIFE Of this scrawl?
HUSBAND Of this letter, sweetheart…. Of your letter.
SCENE III
The same protagonists, more agitated, emotions running high.
WIFE ( shouting) Stop it! ( aside) This is a nightmare. Such an ordeal in my old age.
HUSBAND ( self-absorbed) What did you say?
WIFE (bottling up her emotions) Nothing.
HUSBAND Don’t you remember?
WIFE I don’t remember what?
HUSBAND That situation.
WIFE Which one?
HUSBAND Well, the one behind this dramatic letter.
WIFE ( nervously ) I can see that you want me to… want me to have a nervous breakdown. What’s come over you in your old age?
HUSBAND ( calmly) Sweetheart, I don’t want you to have any nervous breakdown.
On the contrary, I want harmony and order to come back to our life…
WIFE And is harmony and order missing in your life? What do I learn about at the end of my life? That my husband is unhappy? That he misses this and that…. Why don’t you go on to accuse me of making a bad choice…to say that with another woman you could have…?
HUSBAND Oh, come off it, sweetheart. Let’s get back to reality…
WIFE What on earth do you mean by reality? You and me: we are the reality…
HUSBAND Exactly. Well put. Me and you, we are the reality. So we’ll arrive at the truth through ourselves, through yourself and through myself. We’ll find out what really happened back then…
WIFE When?
HUSBAND Well, when you wrote it…
WIFE ( devastated , rises, circulates) No, really, I’m going to pieces! There you go again…
HUSBAND Fine, you don’t want to talk…
WIFE ( nervously, ironically) What’s up then? Will you enlighten me, please?!
HUSBAND We had seen each other the day before. The night before, to be exact. We made love till morning…
WIFE ( all of a sudden, animated, undergoes a transformation) You remember?
HUSBAND How couldn’t I ?! And how!
WIFE Really?
HUSBAND Certainly.
WIFE Do you remember this one night fifty years ago? The one and only?
HUSBAND Not just that one and only, sweetheart. I remember a lot of other nights we spent… passionate, fierce, stromy…
WIFE But you particularly remember that one and only ?!
HUSBAND Yes, I particularly remember that one and only. I remember your fresh fragrant body, I’ve carried this aroma within me up till now, I remember your wonderful breasts, your glowing hair, your joyful smiling eyes, that beautiful look in your eye…
WIFE Do you really remember all this?
HUSBAND Yes, I really remember all this. You were the most beautiful girl in those days. Men couldn’t get their eyes off of you.
WIFE You too?
HUSBAND Certainly, sweetheart. You were exceptional…
WIFE ( grumpy) You were?!
HUSBAND You are, you still are. Until now.
WIFE Sure I am. It’s like something in me.
HUSBAND What particularly stuck in my memory was the way you greeted me. Never before had you greeted me the way you did that night.…
WIFE How? How did I greet you?
HUSBAND You opened the door and started to jump for joy, like a small girl, in a natural, marvellous way…
WIFE Do you remember?
HUSBAND I’ve always had this scene in front of my eyes…
WIFE Did I jump like a small girl?
HUSBAND Yes, you jumped like a small girl…For joy that we were meeting up, that we were seeing each other again, that we were going to make love again.
WIFE To put it mildly!
HUSBAND Sweetheart … You were full of enthusiasm. As if you had suddenly discovered something unusual, as if you had seen your own dream come true. And then you started dancing….you raised your arms and your eyes were radiant … You were unique, one of a kind…. Your arm movements, the dynamics, the harmony….Pure delight….
WIFE Aren’t you exaggerating? Way too romantic… Too much poetry, ecstasy, affection, even sentimentality…for our times….Don’t you think….
HUSBAND No, I don’t as that’s what it was like. It was really like that. Therefore, I was so shocked by the scene that I saw a few hours later, in the morning…
WIFE ( bristling ) What scene?
HUSBAND Well, the one that took place the day after…that scene….
WIFE Which is?
HUSBAND Which is the tram scene…
WIFE What tram?
HUSBAND The one you were taking….
WIFE You mean you remember a tram scene with me that took place fifty years ago? And what was so shocking in that scene?
HUSBAND The night before as I mentioned we had been making love almost till morning.
WIFE To put it mildly!
HUSBAND We said goodbye at dawn…
WIFE And?
HUSBAND I went home to prepare a column for the newspaper and when it was ready at about noon, I got on a tram number ten and I was petrified….
WIFE Why? What happened?
HUSBAND I saw you….
WIFE ( laughing) You saw me and got petrified? You were so bedazzled by me?
HUSBAND You were standing a few steps away from me, glued to a young man staring at him. As if hypnotised, you were telling him vividly about something. He was embracing and cuddling you… For me it was like a bolt from the blue… Only a couple of hours before we had been making love, confessing our love for each other, you had been promising to be faithful to me… And now I saw you in a strange man’s arms….
WIFE You’re telling tales… Nothing like that happened… You’re getting carried away by your imagination. You do know….
HUSBAND I do and I don’t….
WIFE Then why are you acting like that?
HUSBAND Because up till now I have been unsure about how to interpret that scene and how to explain the meaning of that one sentence from the letter…
WIFE ( bitingly) And what should that tram scene have to do with this so-called letter? This is all abnormal, sick, loony….What’s going on with you? Fifty years on you’re living in a world of imagination, pathological hallucinations… bizarre delusions….
HUSBAND But, please, don’t get off the point…
WIFE Hallucinations and delusions is getting off the point?
HUSBAND Yes, off the point because you are reducing everything to the absurd. And yet life is not absurd, there’s some sense in it, some order, there are hierarchies, principles, motives….
WIFE Yes, exactly…. hierarchies….principles….motives….But are there any motives here?
HUSBAND Are you sure you don’t remember anything? You don’t recall looking away from that man and noticing me watching you? Don’t you remember?
WIFE I don’t remember because I can’t remember… And I can’t remember because this did not take place…
HUSBAND So am I telling tales…having delusions?…
WIFE ( firmly) Never did I stand in any tram in some man’s arms! So I don’t know why this has been the object of your inquiry for half a century?! You must have gone crazy after all.
HUSBAND I haven’t gone crazy, but this is what torments, distresses, annoys me, obscures the meaning of my life…
WIFE So much so?!
HUSBAND So much so.
WIFE And this one stupid scene upsets you so badly even today?
HUSBAND It’s not stupid.
WIFE What is it then?
HUSBAND That scene gave birth to a letter. This letter. ( demonstrating)
WIFE Why? In what way?
HUSBAND Well, in that the moment our eyes met…
WIFE On that tram or so?
HUSBAND Yes, on that tram. Strictly speaking, on the tram number ten going from Grunwald Square to Central Station; on this very tram while I was watching you snuggling up to that man…. And all of a sudden, maybe on a hunch, you looked away, turned your head and our eyes met…
WIFE ( ironically) And?
HUSBAND You changed dramatically, went pale, stepped back from him, but the tram was coming to a halt and I jumped off. Stunned, devastated and humiliated, I moved forward…
WIFE You’ve never told me about it… But what am I talking about?!…This can’t have happened after all…
HUSBAND And what about the letter?
WIFE But I’ve already told you….I didn’t write any letter.
HUSBAND But it does exist…
WIFE But it wasn’t me who wrote it…
HUSBAND Who was it then?
WIFE Don’t be boring. You’ve hung up on this letter as if it charted our routes… But it doesn’t, we’ve spent half a century without it and regardless of any other letter…. We are living our day-to-day life, sharing our joys and sorrows – there’s no place for phantasmagoria or anything of the kind…
HUSBAND The thing is….that I…
WIFE That for fifty years you’ve been hiding your horrible obsessions, traumas, paranoid thinking…
HUSBAND Sweetheart, I beg of you, let us not create further problems, …
WIFE It’s not me that is creating them…
HUSBAND Let’s try to unravel the mystery this letter holds. You wrote it three days after that unfortunate episode on the tram. We were supposed to meet, but we didn’t as what I had seen put me off going on dates. I didn’t want to see you any more. You must have understood that the scene called for explanation. It must have troubled you a lot, too. For when you saw me, you went white as a sheet. You froze with an air of silent despair. You realised that I had caught you red handed…
WIFE What are you talking about?! Red handed?! Infidelity?! Apart from the fact that I hadn’t been with any man on a tram, that it wasn’t me that wrote this letter, how can you accuse me of infidelity fifty years on just because of some painful splinter in your imagination, which prevents you from leading a normal life. It’s a horrible obsession, a paranoid fear, a mental scar born God-knows when. ..
HUSBAND It is clear when…. I am even inclined to agree with you that it’s some obsession, a paranoid fear or mental scar. Fine, I can go along with that. Indeed, the spectre of the tram and of this one sentence from the letter do not leave me in peace …..they keep tormenting me….
WIFE It’s the tyranny of imagination! This has nothing to do with the facts, with reality, this has never happened…
HUSBAND You want to make me think that I’m confabulating, making things up, playing some value game with you… No, sweetheart, I’m not. I just want to understand no matter whether or not you reject the facts or block that significant part of your own life out; I merely want to understand what really happened back then.
WIFE Don’t you believe me then?!
HUSBAND No, I don’t. And this is not a question of faith…
WIFE It’s a question of what then?
HUSBAND It’s a question of truth, of the meaning of life, of principal values, of the significance of the facts…
WIFE The significance of the facts?
HUSBAND Yes, the significance of the facts.
WIFE Which facts?! This is the world of your fantasy: illusions, phantoms, fevered imagination?…
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, it’s much more important than you think.
WIFE So you think that – let’s say – let’s assume for a moment even though this has nothing to do with reality – that after that tram scene I actually wrote you that mythical letter and ate humble pie…
HUSBAND On the day I saw you on the tram, something must have happened , something that made you react immediately…something snapped.
WIFE What was it that snapped?
HUSBAND That’s what’s tormenting me.
WIFE But what was it? Explain it, please…
HUSBAND A porter delivered the letter to me. You didn’t send it by post…
WIFE Just this? Let’s assume it was me…
HUSBAND Instead you came to the editorial office, but you didn’t enter the secretary’s room, you did not look for me in my editorial room, you left the letter in an envelope at the gatehouse and – as the porter said – left quickly. He gave me your detailed description. It was you, in person, it must have been you. Having said this, you were incapable of coming up to me, looking me straight in the eye and saying what had really happened. It must have been an unbearable burden for you. Don’t you remember?
WIFE I don’t remember what?
HUSBAND Well, the moment, the point in time when you were at the gatehouse handing the letter to the porter. What was going on with you at the time? What were you going through? Did you feel a sense of guilt? Of shame? Of embarrassment?
WIFE ( indignant) What are you talking about? What sense of guilt? What shame? These are your chimeras, fables, mirages…
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, these are no chimeras, fables or mirages. Still you must have felt, experienced something at the time. Something must have been on your mind. Did you really suppress all that?
WIFE I didn’t suppress anything, I didn’t have to suppress anything because nothing like that had ever taken place.
HUSBAND And this letter? ( demonstrating)
WIFE Stop tormenting me with that ridiculous letter. ( angrily) I’m fed up with that letter, with you and with all this conversation! I don’t remember anything. In any case, I can’t remember anything because nothing like that had ever occurred.
HUSBAND Sweetheart, you suppressed that event; you didn’t want to, you weren’t able to live with it…
WIFE Don’t put words in my mouth, please… This borders on harassment
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, it didn’t even cross my mind to harass you.
WIFE Well?
HUSBAND Well, I’m going to tell you.
WIFE What are you going to tell me?
HUSBAND I’m going to tell you that I found someone to help us sort this out. I found a witness.
WIFE ( astonished) A witness?
HUSBAND Yes, a witness.
WIFE What witness?
HUSBAND An important one, perhaps the most important one.
WIFE What are you talking about?! After all…
HUSBAND Sweetheart, there’s no “after all”. You’ll soon find out.
WIFE ( staring at the Husband, confused, throwing up her hands) But this is…but this is…this isn’t …., isn’t it?!…
HUSBAND ( smiling) Possible, possible… quite possible.
WIFE How so?
HUSBAND That’s how. Well, after collecting your letter at the porter’s, I kept brooding over it for a couple of nights. Eventually, I decided to forgive you…
WIFE To forgive? To forgive what?
HUSBAND The behaviour of yours on the tram…
WIFE But…
HUSBAND I know, I know…
WIFE So?
HUSBAND I loved you too much. Love was stronger than…
WIFE Than what?
HUSBAND Than one embarrassing and unpleasant moment…
WIFE But you do know…
HUSBAND Let’s leave it… Anyway, we made it up even though that sight kept haunting me…
WIFE That tram scene?…
HUSBAND Yes, that tram scene. And I tell you what, I decided to check who that man was…
WIFE The one I supposedly snuggled up to so much…
HUSBAND Yes, precisely…
WIFE And did you check it?
HUSBAND Yes, I did. With your help, by the way…
WIFE How come?
HUSBAND Well, after we made it up, and you said it was your colleague, I decided to make sure that you hadn’t lied to me…
WIFE So you didn’t believe me?!
HUSBAND It’s not a question of faith…
WIFE So it’s a question of what?
HUSBAND A question of peace, sweetheart, of peace of mind….I wanted to forget the whole incident and finish off that chapter once and for all…
WIFE But you haven’t finished anything off…
HUSBAND I’m afraid not.… The letter ….
WIFE The letter again…. Time and time again… No matter where I go, this damned letter crosses my path…
HUSBAND Indeed, it does…But It won’t be too long before…… I’ll explain everything to you right away…
WIFE Go on then, explain.
HUSBAND It’s disappointing that I should say this, but that’s how things were.
WIFE How then?
HUSBAND I went to the place where you worked and…
WIFE Had you been following me?
HUSBAND No, I hadn’t.
WIFE What were you doing then?
HUSBAND I was waiting for your….acquaintance…
WIFE And?
HUSBAND He was not at work on that day. But the next day he left the Architectural Office where you worked. He left after all the others including you had gone out…
WIFE So you were following me after all..
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, I wasn’t. I just wanted to make sure that you hadn’t misled me…
WIFE So you didn’t believe me after all… You bastard! And I was so infatuated with you….fascinated…. besotted…And you?!…
HUSBAND I beg of you….
WIFE All right, all right, go on…
HUSBAND I approached him, explained I wanted to have a smoke, but forgot the lighter and asked for a light. He was very kind, gave me a light and we even exchanged a few words…
WIFE You talked to each other? About me?
HUSBAND It’s hard to call it a conversation…I asked him if he worked at the Design Office…
WIFE And? He said he did?
HUSBAND Yes, he said he did. Then I told him that my girlfriend, that is to say you, also worked there. I even mentioned your name…
WIFE And what did he say?
HUSBAND Kinga? – he asked – Yes, Kinga – I replied. Naturally, he knew you, he gave me a mysterious smile and said that the management held you in high esteem and he himself respected and liked you a lot…
WIFE That’s what he said?
HUSBAND That’s what he said. He even gave me his visiting card and invited me for a coffee.
WIFE And did you accept the invitation?
HUSBAND No, I didn’t. But…
WIFE But what?
HUSBAND ( smiling) But I invited him for a coffee.
WIFE What? When? Then?
HUSBAND No, now.
WIFE ( astonished ) What?! Now?! Maybe you invited him over?!
HUSBAND Yes, I did.
WIFE You must be crazy?! This is abnormal!
HUSBAND Why? What’s annoyed you so much? Are you scared of the confrontation?
WIFE What confrontation? I haven’t seen someone for fifty years let alone the entire absurd situation you involved me in, I haven’t a clue what all this is about, and you, into the bargain, make me greet someone I haven’t seen for half a century (if I knew him at all ) … Besides, how does it make me look? What does it say about me? That I’m a suspect? A criminal? What does that mean? Am I suppised to stand trial?
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, no trial at all. I know this has come to you as a huge surprise. Possibly even a bit of a problem…
WIFE A bit of a problem?! But this is absolute madness! A ridiculous, nonsensical situation. It’s tactless and mean towards me! How can you ask a complete stranger to come over?! To compete against the time which is gone never to return?! You’re just being paranoid! And after all these years?
HUSBAND Sweetheart, don’t get flustered, please. The thing is that bygone days keep coming back to us, hovering above us, staying with us for thick and thin. They are living next to us, looking us in the eye and asking who we are.
WIFE Who we are? What are you talking about?
HUSBAND Yes, they keep asking questions about who we are, what has become of us, whether we remember what we were like in the past and what important things happened inside us. Every instant, every hour, every second we come up against some past thought, some image, some story or some memory. And there’s no way of escaping this. For we are living in many periods at the same time, sweetheart.
WIFE It might be you who is living like that because I’m definitely not. I am living here and now!
HUSBAND All right, I’m not going to convince you. Anyway, we need to receive the guest properly.
WIFE Certainly not!? This is too much for me!
HUSBAND Relax, everything will be all right. We’re just going to meet an old acquaintance. That’s it. Actually, this can be pleasurable, intriguing. We’re going to talk, reminisce, figure out what really happened, how and when…
WIFE ( utterly devastated) No! No! No!
SCENE IV
Similar arrangement. Husband and Wife are in the room each of them busy doing something. The Wife keeps throwing glances at the window and at the door. At one point the intercom buzzes.
WIFE ( getting up with a start) Is it him?
HUSBAND ( busy looking through some album) Sorry? What did you say?
WIFE The doorbell, intercom…
HUSBAND ( putting the album away) Oh, yes, just a second, sweetheart … ( lifting the receiver) Come in, please…
WIFE Him?
HUSBAND ( smiling ) You’ll see in a moment … Is there anything the matter? Are you anxious?…
WIFE No, it’s just…
HUSBAND Just what?
WIFE Somewhat strange…
HUSBAND That’s right, strange…
WIFE Do you think I’ll recognise him?
HUSBAND ( laughing) We will see.
Knocking at the door
WIFE Please, open.
HUSBAND ( opening) Please, do come in…
GUEST ( there enters an elderly yet sprightly gentleman, elegant, well-dressed)
HUSBAND How nice of you to have accepted our invitation. ( shaking his hand) Hello, hello…, isn’t it lovely, sweetheart ( smiling at his Wife and then again at the guest) This is my wife, Kinga. But you already know each other.
GUEST ( greeting the Husband with a smile) It’s been ages.
(Coming up to the Wife introducing himself) Mark Grall… Do you remember me?…
HUSBAND You do know each other, no embarrassment or ceremony…
GUEST To be frank, we do, don’t we? ( looking at the Wife, the Wife is holding out her hand, he is kissing her on the hand, the situation is somewhat peculiar) It’s been so long and you, madam…. I mean… you…as usual…elegant…classy…
WIFE (a little embarrassed looking at him closely)… Oh… Hello… It’s a pleasure…
GUEST You remember me, madam…
HUSBAND Please… my dear friends… Let’s set out the rules right away…we all know one another… so let’s spare ourselves the formalities…(smiling) At our age?!
GUEST However, after so many years…. somehow….the situation is quite unusual… ( addressing the Husband). That’s why I was astonished when you, sir called me and reminded me about that encounter half a century ago. To tell you the truth, I had to to jog my memory, but the moment you mentioned Mrs. Kinga’s name…
HUSBAND Kinga’s…
GUEST All right, Kinga’s ( to the Wife) That’s fine with me… Mark Grall… You remember, madam…
HUSBAND ( to the Guest, smiling) You remember…
GUEST Indeed… ( to the Wife) Do you remember? We used to work together at the Design Office right next to each other’s desks. You would often stand in for me…
HUSBAND ( smiling ) You would stand in…
GUEST Exactly, you would stand in for me when I was away on business… Do you remember, madam?
HUSBAND Do you remember …
GUEST Quite…do you remember? I must refresh my memory… Time does its job… (to the Husband) And your call virtually knocked me off my feet…
HUSBAND You were taken by surprise that much?
GUEST Absolutely … Of all things, I could have expected anything but a call from you half a century on…
HUSBAND ( smiling ) As you can see, not everything seems to get lost…. Memory is powerful, indeed. We arranged to meet….for a coffee back then….do you remember?
GUEST Vaguely…
HUSBAND But I recall it very well….And I do keep my word. You gave me your visiting card back then. It should be somewhere here…( taking it out from his pocket) There you go…. ( showing it) Yours?
GUEST ( looking closely ) I suppose so…
HUSBAND Not “suppose so”, but yes, it is. Here are your details… Mark Grall, architect , 5, Matejki Street, flat 7. Phone… Correct?
GUEST Well, yes, that’s correct. This is my visiting card. And the telephone number is still the same.
HUSBAND Things are clear then. ( smiling) I had your address, telephone number so I decided to reaffirm our commitment…
WIFE What commitment?
HUSBAND Well, the one…
WIFE Which one?
HUSBAND ( smiling) The one of half a century ago.You offered to buy me a cup of coffee. Do you recall that moment? We talked for a while in front of the Design Office, you knew I was Kinga’s boyfriend because I had told you so. I suppose we must have liked each other, and you offered to buy me a coffee, but I was in a bit of a hurry so you gave me your visiting card and suggested meeting up another time.. ( smiling) So here is another time. The only difference is that this time it is me to offer you a coffee.
GUEST ( also smiling ) I couldn’t have put it better myself.
HUSBAND If so, let’s take a seat and socialise. ( to his wife ) Sweetheart, will you get us some coffee and treats? And I’ll get something stronger.
GUEST ( looking around, notices the collection of knives on one of the walls) Oh, what an unusual collection!
WIFE Oh, my husband has been an aficionado of these weird tools for some time. You know, sir… You know… what artists are like….
GUEST Well, yes, I’ve been following your extraordinary career….You have become one of the most popular writers…
HUSBAND Oh, you are being too kind…
GUEST And you’re collecting knives from all over the world?
HUSBAND Sort of.
GUEST Amazing. Can I have a look?
HUSBAND Go ahead…
GUEST Knives, penknives, daggers, joker knives, kerambits…
WIFE Do you know your way around this, sir?
HUSBAND ( correcting) Do you know your way around this?
WIFE Exactly, do you know your way around this…
GUEST Yes, a little, I was also into it when I was young… Except that I collected merely the folding ones…
WIFE And my husband has collected a vast variety of them, a wide variety…
GUEST An unusual collection, extraordinary, fascinating I would say … ( pointing to another wall, full of cords, ropes…) And these … these cords… this decoration, interior design?
WIFE No, no. This is my husband’s another collection…
GUEST Are you a cord collector?
HUSBAND All of us have some peculiarities… if not obsessions…
WIFE Obsessions? Come on! ( to the Guest) These are not any peculiarities at all, let alone obsessions… This is a genuine fascination…passion…
GUEST An original one, unique I’d say…I have never come across this kind of hoarding… Indeed, extraordinary … extraordinary …
HUSBAND Sweetheart, coffee…
WIFE Oh, excuse me, I’m going to the kitchen now… ( going out)
GUEST Frankly speaking, I’m feeling rather strange, not to say, perplexed. Does your dear wife know why you invited me?
HUSBAND Certainly she does. Do sit down. ( pulling out an armchair) It was because of her that I invited you.
GUEST ( taking a seat) It’s incredible. Half a century on you wish to determine or better yet explain some detail from that time. It’s the first time I have experienced anything like that. But I must say the moment you called, my memories came flooding back. I looked back and pinpointed the very moment you came up to me and asked for a light…
HUSBAND So you remember?
GUEST Yes, I do now. It might seem unbelievable, after so many years, but for some reason I remember.
HUSBAND For which reason do you think?
GUEST Maybe because it came as a huge surprise to me; I was stunned.
HUSBAND By the fact that I approached you?
GUEST No, not that.
HUSBAND What was it then?
GUEST The way you talked to me.
HUSBAND What do you mean?
GUEST It seemed as if you had accidentally come up to me, but there was something else that struck me.
HUSBAND What?
GUEST The way you were looking at me, I mean that kind of attentiveness which is so rare to come by. A certain uniqueness, some profundity…
HUSBAND Well, well, sounds interesting…
GUEST You were looking at me as though you’d wanted to see right through me. As though you’d been hoping to find something extremely important for yourself…
HUSBAND Did it show?
GUEST It did! … I gave you a light, you said, “thank you”, but you didn’t walk away….You kept eyeing me as if you were checking something, as if our encounter had had to have a hidden agenda….a new plan….another meaning…And anyway, you were a respected author at the time and your face was familiar to me.Things like these are not easily forgotten…
HUSBAND You’re a pretty good psychologist, no doubt about it…. Yes, that was no coincidence…. Surely, the light was just a pretext. The point was …
GUEST Yes?
HUSBAND This is supposed to be the essence of our meeting…
GUEST ( smiling) This coffee of ours half a century on?…
HUSBAND Yes, this coffee of ours half a century on…But here comes my wife…
WIFE Here you are, gentlemen: coffee, cakes, and where is the stronger stuff?
HUSBAND Oh, sorry, just a moment. We were chatting away. ( rising, handing a decanter with alcohol and glasses, pouring)
WIFE ( sitting, to the Guest) There you go… ( hesitating)
HUSBAND Help yourself …
WIFE Help yourself …
HUSBAND Exactly, feel free…
( everyone laughing )
WIFE Help yourself,…Mark… It all seems bizarre…., doesn’t it?
GUEST It does. That’s also how I feel… But it is Mr. Charles who is the true architect of this bizarreness so he is the one to get us out of it in some way…. Or to justify it…
HUSBAND He will sure get you out… And justify….But first, let’s take the toast to the meeting. My dear friends, to this unique moment, to this, if I may use this old-fashioned phrase, miracle half a century on… ( they are drinking)
GUEST For myself this is truly a miracle… I remember Kinga as a young girl…
WIFE And now I’m no longer a young girl?
( laughter)
HUSBAND For me you’re always young…
GUEST By all means. Besides for me – flattery aside – you are still young with this captivating smile of yours, with the same sparkle in your eyes…
HUSBAND It almost sounds like a confession…
WIFE And rightly so. Finally, there’s someone who appreciates my beauty…
GUEST But joking aside, it seems as if it was a moment ago when I last saw you …
WIFE All these compliments, that’s quite enough…
HUSBAND ( pouring ) One more toast… (raising the glass, addressing the Guest ) Thank you for agreeing to come over. This visit is very important for myself… and for Kinga as well…I believe…Down the hatch… (everyone’s drinking)
GUEST To be frank, I’m working hard on controlling my curiosity level…. Never before have I experienced anything so exceptional… none of my acquaintances, friends have ever struggled so hard to discover a piece of a long lost history….
HUSBAND Which means we are original…
GUEST No doubt about it…
WIFE ( questioningly as if she wanted to make sure that the Guest can remember) My Husband keeps pestering me because of some tram…
GUEST A tram?
HUSBAND Yes, in a nutshell, with the tram…
WIFE I mean with the moment we travelled together…
GUEST Us?
WIFE Yes, us.
GUEST You and me?
WIFE Yes, you and me.
GUEST By tram?
WIFE Yes, by tram.
GUEST As far as I can remember, we would often travel together by tram in those days. That was what our work was about. We would visit construction sites where our projects were being implemented… Sometimes we would come back from work together…. Sometimes we would travel on the same tram because we lived along the same tram line…
WIFE I don’t remember this so clearly…
GUEST I do…
HUSBAND So you might have travelled on the same tram…
GUEST ( surprised ) Certainly. I think there’s nothing unusual about that…
HUSBAND Nothing unusual about the journey itself.
GUEST What is unusual then?
HUSBAND I don’t know how to put it….
WIFE The question is more complex…
GUEST Complex?…
HUSBAND Yes… I mean it isn’t… It would be better to say yes and no…
GUEST I don’t get it…
WIFE It’s way too difficult for me either…
HUSBAND There’s nothing difficult about it….Once we establish the facts…
GUEST What facts? I’m feeling somewhat embarrassed … ( laughing ) as if I was being interrogated…
HUSBAND Please, forgive me… That’s just the way things look… Actually, it all boils down to a trifle…
WIFE Well, I never! A trifle?! The one we’ve both been struggling with for a few weeks already…. And my husband for half a century…
GUEST So this is really that important for both of you?
WIFE For my husband…
HUSBAND Yes, mostly for myself, but I suppose for Kinga as well, even though Kinga doesn’t want to come to terms with the idea…And it looks like she doesn’t want to come to terms with that entire episode….As if she was suppressing it…. shutting the door on it…
GUEST And I am supposed to help you reconstruct some facts, right?
HUSBAND Exactly. I couldn’t have put it better myself…
WIFE There’s no way…
GUEST No way of doing what?…
WIFE There’s no way of reconstructing anything because nothing like that has ever taken place…
GUEST But what was it? What was it that had taken place? I must say I’m out of my depth.
HUSBAND Once again forgive me for inviting you because of something that has no value for you, but for myself… once again, it matters primarily for myself, but it does for Kinga as well even though she’s blocking that event; anyway, for myself it matters…. a lot…
WIFE It does not for me!
HUSBAND It’s not as if I’m trying to find something indecent….in that scene back then…
GUEST In what scene?
WIFE As we can see, it’s not that simple…
HUSBAND Nor is it as complicated as it might seem…The thing is we don’t know how to come at the problem… Let’s start from the beginning…
GUEST Which means?
HUSBAND Establishing the boundaries of memory…
GUEST What do you mean by the boundaries of memory?
HUSBAND Well… the boundaries of memory refer to…I mean if we all can remember the same thing in the same way…
GUEST ( smiling) These are philosophical, psychological considerations….I’m not sure I’m up to that… I don’t have an analytical let alone abstract mind. Mine is concrete, scientific, practical…
HUSBAND And that’s what it’s all about…
GUEST About being practical?
HUSBAND Precisely. My wife and I are arguing about a letter…
GUEST About a letter? Not a tram?…
WIFE Perhaps we’ll get to the question of the letter later on…
HUSBAND You’re right, sweetheart, we’ll get to the letter later on…
GUEST To me it looks like a rather complex matter… Intricate, I would say…
HUSBAND On the face of it… Not so much so as a matter of fact…
GUEST But let’s get down to the practical side of things. This is where I feel much more at home…
WIFE My husband insists that one day, fifty years ago when I was already his girlfriend, he got on a tram and saw me and you in sort of close contact with each other…
GUEST Pardon me?
HUSBAND ( smiling) Oh, I think you didn’t put it well…
WIFE What do you mean I didn’t put it well? You keep saying that half a century ago, you got on a tram and saw me snuggling up to…
GUEST You mean you, madam to me? I mean you and me?
WIFE Yes, me and you.
GUEST And?
WIFE And apparently I was kind of excited, I kept staring at you as if I was quite smitten with you…
GUEST ( laughing) Retroactive jealousy cropped up, didn’t it, Sir?
HUSBAND No, by no means, we’re following false clues…
GUEST What do the false clues consist in?
HUSBAND In that this very case doesn’t involve feelings…
GUEST And what is it that it does?
HUSBAND Verifying the fact that it did take place…
GUEST There took place what?
HUSBAND That you were travelling on a tram together.
GUEST But I did tell you that we had travelled on a tram together many times…
HUSBAND It’s not the case.
GUEST And what is then?
WIFE That on that very day, we travelled together…
HUSBAND Precisely…
GUEST On which day? How are we supposed to establish that? After all, it was fifty years ago…
HUSBAND I know it won’t be easy, but let’s have a try…
GUEST I can see that you are arguing about something. Am I right in my perception?
HUSBAND Exactly.
GUEST What is the argument based on?
HUSBAND On the fact that I’m saying so and I have proof of that… But never mind…
GUEST What do you mean, never mind? You are trying to get me to settle some argument of yours and you have some proof… So what am I here for if you already have that proof?…
HUSBAND I’m sorry, sir. It’s just that the proof will come in handy during the second phase of our conversation…
GUEST During the second phase?
HUSBAND Yes, during the second phase because that second phase concerns something else…
GUEST Not the tram?
HUSBAND Not only the tram…
WIFE Charles is creating more and more problems…
HUSBAND Not creating problems, but just trying to get things right…
GUEST However, it does sound a bit complicated for now and quite funny for me…Sorry to be blunt…Anyway, let’s assume things are simpler…
HUSBAND Quite so, that’s a good assumption… Because in essence it looks simpler…It looks complicated and funny just on the face of it… It’s a matter of perspective… Let’s try to find the answers in an unemotional, calm and logical manner. Could you and Kinga have been travelling on the Grunwald Square – Partisan Hill – Central Station line on a tram, the tram number ten, to be exact?
GUEST We could have. I’ve already said so.
HUSBAND Could Kinga have been emotionally charged, joyful, animated during the ride? Could she have been staring at you, touching you? Could it have seemed clear she was happy?
GUEST It could. As far as I can remember, Kinga has always been joyful, full of energy and happiness, I would say. She often laughed, vividly reacted to her surroundings. In brief, she liked people… (to the Wife). Am I right, Kinga?
WIFE I suppose so….
HUSBAND Not “I suppose so”, but you are. I can confirm that… She has always been joyful …full of life…of optimism … lively…
GUEST What’s the problem then?
HUSBAND Well, if she has been so lively, joyful, full of optimism, if she enjoyed a good laugh, if she liked people, if she has been like that, maybe you remember her displaying other mental states? …
GUEST What do you mean?
HUSBAND Well, could she have been travelling with you on a tram bursting with optimism, joy, happiness? Could she have been chatty, full of energy, and all of a sudden…
GUEST What do you mean, all of a sudden?
WIFE What are you driving at?
HUSBAND At establishing a certain fact…
WIFE What fact?
GUEST Precisely. What fact?… I must admit that you have succeeded in getting me involved in this set of riddles. What seemed quite funny only a moment ago, now appears otherwise. It intrigues me, interests me, fires my imagination…
HUSBAND Quite! We’re following the right path. So you are on a tram, there is nice atmosphere, Kinga is cheerful, full of joy and suddenly…
GUEST Suddenly what? Suddenly again?
HUSBAND Do you happen to remember the moment Kinga’s facial expression changes unexpectedly and dramatically?
WIFE Do you want to recreate a situation of half a century ago?
GUEST Indeed, do you want me to stimulate my memory to recall this one situation, this only situation…
HUSBAND Maybe not the only one… maybe there were more of them…
GUEST And you expect me to…half a century on…
HUSBAND Well, yes, I do…. I want to recreate a situation of half a century ago and I believe we will succeed because human memory has unfathomable depths… For instance, I remember my Father coming back from the war one day even though I was five years old: I remember the way he was dressed and how he behaved … And it was much earlier than half a century ago….
GUEST You mean something happened on the tram, something that made Kinga undergo a profound transformation. Is this what you wish to say?
HUSBAND Quite! I know that I demand much of you, in any case, the same applies for me. And for Kinga. But I believe we’re up to it and today we can unveil an important fragment of that reality…
GUEST Isn’t that beyond us?
HUSBAND No, this is feasible. May I ask another question?
GUEST Yes? I’m all ears. It’s getting more and more interesting.
HUSBAND Do you remember Kinga ever being sad, upset or even devastated?
GUEST That’s an interesting question. Hm… I don’t think so… for sure she wasn’t like that at work … she emanated optimism there….
HUSBAND And on a private basis?
GUEST We didn’t know each other well…Once the work was over, Kinga was off home….Even her friends were taken aback… They tried to persuade her for a coffee….for a concert …..for meeting at a club… But as far as I remember, she’d always refuse….After work she would rush home…. So much so that this used to be a joking matter – her being besotted with you…
WIFE ( to her husband) Well, don’t you see?
HUSBAND I know, sweetheart, I know…
GUEST ( pensive ) This being said… just a second… hold on…
HUSBAND Yes?… yes?… I’m all ears…
GUEST You know … You know… just a minute… It’s as if ….
HUSBAND As if what?
WIFE ( with anxiety ) Precisely, as if what?
GUEST It was such a gorgeous day… Certainly… … yes… I have it right in front of my eyes…
WIFE ( apprehensively ) What is there right in front of your eyes?
HUSBAND Go on….this is important …..very much so….
GUEST It took me… not just myself … all of us in the office …by surprise ….we were amazed…, I would say….
HUSBAND But what was it?
GUEST ( going on as if to himself ) Well, yes, this had never happened before…
HUSBAND But what was it? Please, go on…
GUEST One morning Kinga turned up at work and it was clear she was sad …. She didn’t say hello cheerfully as usual, she didn’t smile ….the rest of us even looked at one another astonished by her behaviour …. She had never acted like that before … but everyone can have a bad day… so we set about our work… And we would likely have forgotten about the whole incident quite quickly had there not occurred something later…
HUSBAND What was that?
WIFE ( apprehensively ) How do you mean?
GUEST At one point Kinga left for the restroom….
WIFE Did you find that strange?
GUEST No, I didn’t. Each of us would use the restroom…
HUSBAND What was it then? What was so strange about it?
GUEST Suddenly, we heard something that sounded like a muffled cry, sobbing if you will…
WIFE What? What are you talking about? ( categorically ) Nothing like that took place!
GUEST It did, my dear, it did. Don’t you remember?
WIFE ( angrily) No, I don’t.
GUEST I do…
HUSBAND So?
GUEST One of the colleagues got concerned and she went to check what was going on…
HUSBAND And? So?
GUEST We all looked there and through the open door there reached us crying…
HUSBAND Kinga’s crying?
GUEST Yes, Kinga’s.
WIFE This is not true. Nothing like that occurred. You’d just ganged up against me.
HUSBAND Please, sweetheart. This is just a memory, a memory sign…
WIFE No, this is some conspiracy, the tyranny of majority. First it was you, and now Marek. You have it in for me! After all, it’s me that’s supposed to know better.
HUSBAND So how were things?
WIFE As usual. I mean I would never have revealed my private affairs, feelings, problems at work…
GUEST That’s right. You never would. I had never seen you in such a state. You were crying, what’s more, it wasn’t just crying, it was weeping, indeed, a lament…
WIFE Well, I never… This is just getting paranoid?!…
HUSBAND ( coming up to her, hugging her ) Calm down, sweetheart, please. Nobody’s putting you on trial, this is no verdict, there’s nothing to blame you for…
WIFE So what are you driving at?
HUSBAND Just at getting the facts right…
WIFE What facts?! There were no facts?!
HUSBAND I just need to know what was going on with you back then. Something that almost brought our relationship to an end?
GUEST Are you attaching such great importance to that episode, Sir?
HUSBAND Not so much to that episode as to its consequences. I’ll explain it to you right away. But let’s go on….I’m only interested in facts…So you heard Kinga crying?
GUEST Yes, we heard Kinga crying and then we saw her changed…One of the colleagues helped her out of the restroom, and they both locked themselves away in a separate room….
WIFE It’s not true. Not a bit!
GUEST Sorry, but it is. Forgive me for putting you to any inconvenience, but I just can’t leave that out.
WIFE Leave out what?
GUEST Well, the fact it was a hard day for you…. you cried… It was the first time I had seen you in such a state…. That’s probably why this moment sticks in my memory….
HUSBAND Might Kinga have been in tears because of some problems at work?
GUEST By no means?! I repeat. She was an excellent worker, an invaluable professional, we all liked and valued her…. Honestly, she was our treasure…
HUSBAND So the tears did not result from some conflict in the workplace, some argument?
GUEST What are you talking about, sir? What argument!? Kinga was a model employee. There were many who wanted to emulate her. But they were unable to because apart from her talent and diligence, Kinga had a formidable personality, charm, talent, intelligence…
WIFE Don’t exaggerate. I was normal…
HUSBAND Well, all right then. We decided that she had been feeling bad on that day. And not because of any problems in the workplace….
GUEST Definitely not…
HUSBAND So why should she have felt bad?
GUEST I don’t know.
HUSBAND And maybe…
GUEST What do you mean by maybe?
WIFE What are you being up to!?
HUSBAND I’m not being up to anything.
WIFE But?
HUSBAND But I just want to comprehend what made you cry on that day…
WIFE ( categorically ) I didn’t cry!
HUSBAND ( to the guest) Wasn’t it while you were travelling on a tram together?
GUEST That’s a good question. On the day Kinga burst into tears, we kept wondering what could have happened…. What could have made her act so strangely and incomprehensibly…. Because up till then, let me reiterate this, she had never behaved like that…She had always been cheerful, warm-hearted, joyful… ( to the Wife) That’s how it was, Kinga, wasn’t it? Sorry, but that was the case. And then…
HUSBAND And then she burst out crying, all of a sudden?
WIFE Leave my crying alone, will you?!
GUEST Yes, and then she burst out crying. Precisely.
WIFE ( to himself) Male chauvinism!
HUSBAND And what did you conclude?
GUEST Then I remembered the previous morning and her sudden transformation on the tram…
HUSBAND The tram she was on with you?
GUEST Yes, on that tram.
HUSBAND On the one she was earlier so joyful, cheerful, almost happy …. Is that so? On the tram number ten?
GUEST I suppose so… on the tram number ten… We would usually take the tram number ten…. I realised then, after those tears of hers that on the previous day we had travelled to a construction site and Kinga was brimming over with joy…
HUSBAND All along…
GUEST The thing is it wasn’t all along… Up to a certain moment….
HUSBAND Which moment?
GUEST Quite! Up to which one?
HUSBAND Please, try to remember, this is important…
GUEST I can’t say for certain, but it seems that I captured the moment when she looked aside, froze and suddenly went silent…
HUSBAND And?
GUEST And she changed completely…
ŻONA No!
HUSBAND Sweetheart, let the gentleman speak…( to the Guest ) And what was next?
GUEST I don’t remember any details, but I know she froze…At work, after her breakdown, I told my colleagues about her behaviour as we were trying to find a reason…
HUSBAND And?
GUEST We found nothing except…
HUSBAND Except that behaviour on the tram?…
WIFE No! Please?!…
HUSBAND Sweetheart … ( to the Guest) What else do you recall?
GUEST Our conversation lagged, Kinga fell silent, her eyes were wandering just as if had been recalling something , running away to a different world….
HUSBAND And on the next day, already at work, she was in tears…
GUEST Yes, she was…She changed a lot…
WIFE No! I beg of you?!…
GUEST Sorry, Kinga… But I can’t… I mean… I can’t say anything else, something that didn’t take place…
HUSBAND So what was it that took place?
GUEST For a few days she was sad, depressed, so to say… Later on, at work we started to reassemble those moments. But then one morning she arrived cheerful as if nothing had happened. She was joyful, elegant as usual.… And she remained as such.
WIFE ( clutching her face, shouting, almost in tears) No! No! No! I can’t . This is too much.( bursting into tears, she starts up and runs out)
( a moment of consternation, )
HUSBAND ( throwing his hands up) Excuse me… ( following his Wife, at the same time, the Guest is staring at the door, concerned until the Husband comes back) Once again, accept my apologies, sir… but my wife found the experience way too unsettling…
GOŚĆ Maybe we needn’t have…
HUSBAND On the contrary, we should have, very much so…
GUEST Perhaps I shouldn’t have….This is all so private, personal…
HUSBAND No, no, I mean it is personal, but what matters is we have arrived at the truth..
GUEST I hope I haven’t caused some family conflict with these memories…
HUSBAND By no means, on the contrary, you shed some light on that episode… And that’s what I wanted. I’m extremely grateful to you, sir, extremely….My wife blocked that episode out for some reason. She blocked it out in your company as well… This is deep inside her….And I wanted to understand why she had done it…
GUEST And have you understood now?
HUSBAND No, not yet, but now I know much more than before. This will enable me to explain the rest in our further conversations.
GUEST The rest?
HUSBAND Oh, that is another matter.
GUEST Sorry for asking, but what another matter do you have in mind if it’s not a secret?
HUSBAND No, it’s not a secret. It’s just that my wife wrote me a letter after that episode on the tram…
GUEST A letter?
HUSBAND Yes, a letter.
GUEST And?
HUSBAND ( laughing ) And after all these years, she refuses to admit that it was she who wrote it.
GUEST She blocked it out as well?
HUSBAND She blocked it out as well. But now that you’ve confirmed that on the morning in question you were travelling on a tram together, she won’t be able to deny it any longer.
GUEST And this is that other thread? Strictly connected with the tram?
HUSBAND Yes, exactly. This is the other thread. But we’re going to cope with it. You helped me a lot, Sir, I mean you helped Kinga and myself. Even though she found it very upsetting. But it looks like she needed this shock. I am, we are extremely grateful to you, Sir.
WIFE ( entering somewhat embarrassed addressing the Guest) I’m sorry, sir…
HUSBAND No, “sir”, please. Just, “I’m sorry”…
WIFE Obviously, I’m sorry, Mark, forgive me, those memories, past experiences unsettled me to a great extent. I just couldn’t control myself…
GUEST Please, forgive me…. Maybe I have gone too far…. Perhaps I shouldn’t have
really…
HUSBAND No, not at all…Please, accept our thanks for such a fruitful time…You helped us so much, so much…
GUEST Well, thank you for your hospitality…. ( getting up, looking around, saying goodbye to the Wife , the Husband, stopping to look at the knife collection just before leaving) Impressive knife collection, imposing, splendid… And these cords…. I’m full of admiration… full of admiration…
HUSBAND Thank you…
GUEST Goodbye …
HUSBAND Goodbye, sir.
WIFE Goodbye.
SCENE V
Similar scenery. Husband and Wife are sitting at the table, talking. Sometimes getting up, walking, looking out the window. The Husband is coming up to the knives, picking some of them up, looking at them, then putting them back, sitting at the table.
HUSBAND Well, we know that you were travelling on a tram with Mark. You can’t deny it now. Right?
WIFE That’s right. I was.
HUSBAND But I still can’t understand why you blocked that fact out for half a century. And that letter?! You also blocked that out. What made you bottle things up so much?
WIFE Do you really want to know?
HUSBAND I do. I suppose we deserve this honesty after such a long married life. A moment of honesty about ourselves and about those days. Would you be willing to tell me what you were up to back then?
WIFE Are you sure you want me to?
HUSBAND Yes, I am.
WIFE I’ll tell you then.
HUSBAND So you remember after all?
WIFE Yes, I do.
HUSBAND Even though you blocked that out for half a century?
WIFE Yes, even though I blocked that out for half a century.
Perhaps now is the time for us to liberate ourselves from those events…
HUSBAND Sweetie, there’s no way of liberating ourselves. What’s done, is done. We won’t change what we’ve experienced.
WIFE But?
HUSBAND But we can look at the events from a different perspective, in a wiser, more profound way. You know…
WIFE Yes? What is it?
HUSBAND The Greeks have the concept of catharsis…
WIFE Well, yes, I know. Do you mean we’re going to purge ourselves?
HUSBAND Quite!
WIFE Do you think we can make it?
HUSBAND And why couldn’t we if we both want it? After all, we have grown to be fully responsible.
WIFE Half a century on?!
HUSBAND Yes, half a century on.
WIFE Our life…
HUSBAND Our life what?
WIFE Our life…. Our life: what’s behind, all those years were so good, interesting and often beautiful…. There was a lot of beauty in our life…
HUSBAND And yet…
WIFE And yet what?
HUSBAND Yet we hid something from each other, we didn’t come to terms with something important…. Maybe we should show these cards to each other at last? Do you remember when it all began?
WIFE Sure I do.
HUSBAND When?
WIFE On the day I travelled with Mark on a tram… I was very happy…
HUSBAND Happy?
WIFE Yes, very happy, exceptionally, incredibly joyful…
HUSBAND And?
WIFE And you ruined all that…
HUSBAND Why me? Still…
WIFE In a twinkling all my happiness turned to ashes, to ashes and dust…
HUSBAND Why? What are you talking about?
WIFE Don’t interrupt, please. You want to know the truth and you will. I was very happy, cheerful, joyful, I wanted to scream for joy, I was happy as a kid…
HUSBAND And so?
WIFE ( excited as if she hasn’t heard her Husband) This was such a genuine, authentic experience. I was talking to Mark, but I might as well been talking to anyone, even to a cat. And the joy would have been equally great. And I was talking to Mark about insignificant, trifle things. About some secondary professional matters, calculation errors, forgotten projects, but deep down I was somewhere else, I was near you…
HUSBAND Snuggling up to him?
WIFE Please, listen until I’ve finished. I was filled with happiness. And I was radiating this happiness. You saw me in such a state. In a state of euphoria. I loved you very much. More than life itself. I lived that love, our love, our last night together… You were my revelation, my legend, my myth. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. It was only through you that I looked at the world. I saw nothing but your face, your eyes, your look. I heard nothing but your voice. It was mesmerising and beautiful. No one loves like that today. I thought that destiny, happiness, God, the whole world, universe, the stars and the sky – that all of that was on my side. Can you understand it?
HUSBAND I… I…
WIFE Well then, you…. Can you understand?
HUSBAND Sounds like…
WIFE Never mind. You couldn’t understand back then either. I was a young girl head over heels in love with you. You were my first and only great love….I was inebriated with delight and madness of love…. And permeated by love, I was telling Mark about something…
HUSBAND About me?
WIFE Come now, not about you. As a matter of fact, all revolved around you even though your name was never mentioned.
That joy didn’t emanate from a conversation, not from a certain proximity between Mark and myself. It stemmed from the conversation being permeated by happiness, by you, by the night we spent, by love, by your whispers, kisses, caresses, by you, love, the entire you. And then I saw you staring at me with a cold, strange and contemptuous look. I froze as if I had seen death.
HUSBAND Death? What are you talking about?
WIFE I was devastated. And when you ostensibly turned your head away and got off the tram, I became weak in the knees. I didn’t know what was going on with me. Suddenly, all the joy, euphoria, happiness deserted me. I felt the earth collapse under my feet. I must have changed a lot because even Mark asked what the matter was. And I couldn’t answer him. My strength was failing me. My beautiful world cracked and shattered. I knew I was losing you. And it was this terrible, dreadful moment. The moment of despair. I wanted to chase you, shout out that I loved you, that I was innocent and yours, only yours. But it was too late. Too late for everything. The tram was leaving, you were more and more distant. You didn’t even give me a single look. Haughty, proud, majestic. I was being overwhelmed by a painful and deep sense of injustice. Why? – I asked myself. Why did you act like that?! What did I do to you? What did I do that made you suddenly turn away and leave? Why didn’t you come up to me, why didn’t you greet me, why didn’t you give me a kiss? Just like thousands of young people in love do? They say hello, they are happy they smile. And you? You turned back with disdain and left. That disdain was burning, hurting and killing me. I had no idea what to do. Suddenly, in an instant I was nobody. And still a moment before I had been on the top of a giant mountain, singing songs of love. My joy had been endless. So things can collapse, come to an end so suddenly, so abruptly- I thought – The whole world may disappear so quickly? My head was clouded with dark thoughts, I was devastated and desperate….because with that icy look of yours and with that scorn in your eyes, you left me on my own….
HUSBAND And that’s why you were crying at work on the next day?
WIFE Yes, that’s why on the next day and during a couple of days later I cried, sobbed, wept around like a beaten dog, humiliated and degraded. I just could come to terms with myself. I didn’t sleep a wink. It was the cruellest and darkest night in all my life. I was beating my head against a brick wall, I was howling like a wolf out of despair and I was cursing my life and my young years. I wanted to die. But I was too weak. I wasn’t strong enough to kill myself, to slash my wrists, drown in a river, hang myself. Even though I wanted to so much. But I was too weak. And maybe there was still a great desire for life deep inside. Anyway, sorrow, pain and despair finally gave way to anger, I got furious and started to destroy various appliances and objects, I kept breaking chairs, vases, glasses and bottles. You don’t even realise what I was capable of… My room looked as if it had been hit by a great hurricane, cyclone, tornado. Had you been nearby, I would surely have torn you to pieces. Because you had hurt me, deeply…
HUSBAND Why didn’t you tell me back then?
WIFE Quite! Why? Nothing counted anymore for me back then. I only saw that icy and strange look of yours. And that scorn in your eyes. And the way you turned your back on me. Words do not exist to describe that.
HUSBAND And didn’t it cross your mind that something wrong was going on with myself as well? That I was also painfully struggling with that moment?
WIFE But why? Whatever did I do to make you painfully struggle with that moment?
HUSBAND Nothing on the face of it, but in reality you killed the most beautiful feeling that could ever have appeared in my life. You killed a pure, beautiful and great love in me. Didn’t you know about it, didn’t you feel it?
WIFE I didn’t realise it. First, there was merely my pain, my sorrow, my despair and my demise. And a horrible sense of injustice, unfairness, absurdity. But after a couple of days I came to understand that I might have hurt you.
HUSBAND And you did.
WIFE A lot?
HUSBAND A lot. You hurt my male pride. I couldn’t comprehend how, after such a marvellous night, one could snuggle up to a strange man, touch him, embrace him. For me it was an unbearable shock.
WIFE You showed me a great deal of contempt back then. It took me a few days to understand it. I didn’t see that immediately. Still we had known each other a little. I knew you took life seriously. I knew you had your principles, norms and an unshakable system of values. We had talked a bit about our life before. The longer I brooded over it, the more often it occurred to me that I might have hurt you, slighted you. That’s why I ate humble pie even though I was innocent. But I did know at the time that I was guilty in your eyes. I ate humble pie and wrote that horrible letter. And you humiliated me even more.
HUSBAND Even more?! Me?
WIFE Yes, you! Even more!
HUSBAND Why?
WIFE ( angrily ) Why?
HUSBAND Quite, why?
WIFE Can’t you see it? Even today?
HUSBAND No, I don’t get it.
WIFE You humiliated me, you debased me, made me feel like a rag. ( angrily and desperately ). How could you?! How could you, in a twinkling, destroy our life, my great love, my unfathomable beautiful dream. Monster!
HUSBAND Sweetheart, I beg of you…
WIFE “I beg of you”?! You ruined my most beautiful feelings, the most fabulous meaning of the world, you ruined my love. You hurt me, maimed me, you annihilated my girlish sensitivity, my delicacy, my sense of aesthetics. Everything fell apart. You monster, you murderer! You…you… ( pummelling him repeatedly)
HUSBAND Stop it, please. It was you that smashed my world. I was crazy about you, I was besotted with you…
WIFE Were you?
HUSBAND I was.
WIFE You were crazy to the point of coming to me in a drunken stupor. And there I was waiting for you, window-gazing, listening for your footsteps. And when you were two, three or five hours late, I was scared out of my wits that I was never going to see you again. I lived in a constant fear, uncertainty. Always on the edge of my seat. And I tried to find guilt in myself. Only in myself. I kept wondering why I made you stay away, be late. And you were hanging around with your mates and the like in bars, drinking, all kinds of thoughts crossed my mind. Once you turned up with lipstick on your neck. Another time a crumpled love letter from a strange cow fell out of your pocket.( going at him, pummelling him) You scoundrel, you villain, you scum…
HUSBAND Sweetheart, calm down, I beg of you. Can’t you see what your love meant to me?! I couldn’t cope with it. I couldn’t comprehend its power and force. I was incapable of carrying its burden…
WIFE Burden?!
HUSBAND Yes, burden. Your love engulfed me, oppressed me, pressed me to the ground.… Instead of lifting me up, captivating, elevating, it smashed me from within, pressed to the ground, ruined my spirit…
WIFE What? It ruined your spirit?! Are you talking rubbish? What poppycock is that? How can you talk like that? Still a moment ago, you were bursting with glee…
HUSBAND Some nightmarish adversities, inner struggles, antynomies….
WIFE What are you talking about?
HUSBAND About love. About its incomprehensible force, its incomprehensible strength, contradictions and paradoxes
This great love made keep plumbing the depths…
WIFE The depths! Do you hear what I hear? After so many years?! You were plumbing the depths!? How can you say anything like that? Don’t you see you are putting paid to the meaning of our life…
HUSBAND No, I’m not putting paid to it. I’m not putting paid to anything . On the contrary, I’m doing you justice…
WIFE Justice? What justice? You’re pressing me to the ground, to the mud. You’re skewering me with your finger … In return of years of service!….For decades of faithfulness! My love was blind….It was service….and I was your slave … Yes, you have heard correctly, your slave! Everything was subordinate to you, exclusively to you, mornings and evenings, nights and days, all that existed within me, near me, behind me, and ahead of me. Everything that existed in the world was exclusively for you, only for you… Do you understand it?! ( acting ) My love! My one and only ! My joy! ( in a different tone) Didn’t you hear me whisper? The faith I spoke with?! Didn’t you see the outstretched hands? The burning eyes?
HUSBAND I knew I was drowning in that love. I was perishing in a horrible fire , in the fire that devoured me…I couldn’t normally live, work, write…. Do you know that when I sat down to write a book, you hovered above me like a giant dark cloud…. I felt its unfathomable weight. I used to measure everything according to your love …You love reduced me to ashes…. I felt like dust, which can be stamped on. Therefore I drank, knocked around the bars, slums, dive bars…. I wanted to die…hang myself…
WIFE What are you talking about!? It was a glorious feeling! The true meaning of our life! Do you understand: feeling, love, meaning?!
HUSBAND This was a rope around my neck. I was suffocating. No one has ever experienced anything as powerful before.
WIFE And that’s why you used to get drunk?
HUSBAND Yes, that’s why I used to get drunk, that’s why I knocked around , that’s why I was killing your image, your feeling, your love within myself, because it was above me… And besides…
WIFE What was besides?
HUSBAND Besides, I was afraid to lose you…
WIFE To lose me?
HUSBAND Yes, to lose you.
WIFE Why? You did know I loved you to distraction…
HUSBAND That’s precisely why it seemed impossible to me…It was like a dream…. A fairytale…illusion….some mirage….. I couldn’t believe it.
WIFE You couldn’t believe I loved you so much?
HUSBAND No, I couldn’t. These things happen. Such a wonderful, gorgeous young girl and myself?! The whole situation seemed to me like a soap bubble about to burst any moment….Like a delusion. I held you in my arms thinking I was going to lose you in a second…
WIFE But why? This is stuff and nonsense…
HUSBAND Today I know it’s stuff and nonsense, but back then I didn’t think that way, the way I felt was different…
WIFE And that was why you were hanging around?! That’s why you brought home lipstick prints and love letters from various cows?
HUSBAND Shenanigans.
WIFE What shenanigans?
HUSBAND My female colleagues played pranks on me at work. They couldn’t comprehend that one was capable of such great love and painted lipstick prints to check whether you would be annoyed. And how foolish of me to have enjoyed that. And you fell for the tricks.
WIFE And that cow’s letter?! “My love, I can’t live without you! Let’s meet near the forest.” What romantic ballads were those?!
HUSBAND It wasn’t a letter from some cow, but from a newspaper reader whose husband was caught betraying her. That letter was said to be the one from the woman he was seeing. And that was supposed to be an undeniable proof for the court. And I was going to describe the story.
WIFE So why didn’t you tell me right away?
HUSBAND Because it was unimportant. Unimportant, I mean.
WIFE And what was important?
HUSBAND You in the arms of another man.
WIFE What?
HUSBAND You in the arms of another man.
WIFE You’re coming back to that again?
HUSBAND I am because I keep seeing that scene. You snuggling up to him…
WIFE But we have already explained that.
HUSBAND And what of it? We explained it and we didn’t explain it, either. We explained it and yet the scene weighs heavily in my mind.
WIFE For fifty years I gave you everything that was the best in myself: love, youth, sensitivity, dreams, faith, longing. I greeted you like a fairytale Prince, like the king of my dreams. I danced for you and sand songs of love – you admitted it yourself. I welcomed you at the doorstep with the most beautiful smile I had. And you would roll inside as full as a boot and mumbled stuff and nonsense about delayed trams… And I forgave you all… all the instances of your drunkenness, roguery and infidelity.
HUSBAND What infidelity, sweetheart?!
WIFE ( angrily ) Infidelity, you rascal! Infidelity!
HUSBAND However…
WIFE What do you mean “however”?!
HUSBAND However already…
WIFE There’s no already….I hate you!
HUSBAND What!?
WIFE I do. You ruined the most beautiful moments in my life, the loveliest of loves…
HUSBAND But sweetheart?!
WIFE ( going at him, pummelling him) Sweetheart?! Now I’m a sweetheart?! And what about my sleepless nights?! My ordeals?! My nightmares! My tears?! Depressions, anxieties, fears?! …All this no longer exists?! No longer matters?
HUSBAND It matters, sweetheart, it does…
WIFE ( attacking him) You scum, scoundrel, you sack of … of… shit!…
HUSBAND ( withdrawing, starting to act ) There now, there there, sweetheart…. You must let off steam. I understand…
WIFE You don’t understand anything, you scumbag?!…( attacking in a haphazard way) You scoundrel! You monster!
HUSBAND Sweetheart, we never swore, we never slung mud at each other…That’s why so much bitterness, anger, bile has built up in you…All right then, help yourself now, help yourself!
WIFE You old goat! ( following him, he is retreating, she is hitting him, a grotesque scene where drama mingles with comedy) You old goat! Goa….
HUSBAND You hog!
WIFE You hog!
HUSBAND You scumbag!
WIFE You scumbag!
HUSBAND You murderer!
WIFE Murderer! ( suddenly freezes, clutching her head) God, what am I talking about?! What’s going on with me?! Forgive me, please! ( embracing him violently) Forgive, my love! ( crying) I no longer control myself. I am hunted down by some nightmares.
HUSBAND ( hugging his Wife) That’s all right. That’s all right, sweetheart. You just had to get rid of that, you had to…
WIFE ( sobbing) How’s that… How!?
HUSBAND ( cuddling her) There now, there there…
SCENE VI
Similar scenery in a different place of the same room. Husband and Wife are sitting, talking, drinking coffee, getting up, talking, sitting down. The Husband is looking at the knives, holding them in his hand…
HUSBAND There’s one more letter left. You are saying, “How I haven’t deserved you.” Why didn’t you deserve me if I was to blame?
WIFE Don’t you understand?
HUSBAND No, I don’t.
WIFE I’ve already explained it to you. But let me do it again. A few days after the tram scene, I came to realise that you too might have felt hurt.
HUSBAND Because I was hurt. I hugged you, cuddled you, kissed your breasts, your belly…. You returned that love and I was biting my fingers out of fury…
WIFE Why? Whatever happened?
HUSBAND I would take you wildly, passionately, remember?
WIFE I would yell in ecstasy…
HUSBAND You yelled in ecstasy, and I saw with my mind’s eye that man taking you, approaching you, capturing you… There was some duality of life in that, a double reality….
WIFE But still….No! No?! It’s impossible. You are making things up.
HUSBAND I’m not making anything up. That’s the way things were. And that hurt me, degraded me, killed me.
WIFE That’s rubbish?!
HUSBAND No rubbish! I made love to you, I whispered sweet nothings in your ear and he was between us, he also made love to you, held you, entered you and you were groaning…
WIFE Good gracious?! What a nightmare! Were things really like that?
HUSBAND Really.
WIFE This is morbid. This is all sick, insane, lunatic.
HUSBAND Not only that…
WIFE Not only that? Could there be anything worse? My husband makes love to me and gives himself over to paranoid visions, insane delusions. Can’t you feel this is typical of insanity…
HUSBAND You want to say that you slept with someone insane…
WIFE You were haunted by demons…
HUSBAND These might have been demons. But all that was very real, concrete for me at the time. Try to understand! I heard your rapid breathing, I saw your outstretched arms, sparkling eyes, but at the same time I felt him squeezing between us, wriggling, tossing, grabbing you…It was unbearable… And it lasted for years…. For half a century…. Every single night…And even in broad daylight…. in the morning…
WIFE During the day as well?! … In the morning?! Well, I never!
HUSBAND Exactly. During the day, in the morning, at noon…When you smiled in front of the mirror….When you were making up… When you were dressing to kill…. You were doing it all for him…
WIFE Couldn’t you have come up with a greater meanness?!
HUSBAND And while you were leaving home…
WIFE So? Was I going to see him?
HUSBAND That’s right. You were going to see him.
WIFE Possession! This obsession has no bounds. But you could have gone mad… insane….No, what am I saying… You were …. My God, you were…
HUSBAND Yes, sweetheart, I was. I was on the borderline…Do you remember?… ( looking at the knives)
WIFE Yes?
HUSBAND Do you remember my bringing the first knife home?
WIFE No, I don’t. You had your passions…
HUSBAND Those were no passions.
WIFE What were those then?
HUSBAND ( getting up , coming up to the knives, choosing one and examining it) Can you recognise it?
WIFE Recognise what?
HUSBAND Well, this knife.
WIFE What does that matter?!
HUSBAND ( Playing with the knife) This is the first knife which I wanted to stab your heart with.
WIFE What?!
HUSBAND I wanted to kill you!!!
WIFE No?! You’re kidding?! You’re bantering with me, teasing me, pulling my leg. Right? It’s a game, isn’t it? You are being carried away by your creative imagination, right? Please , this is no joking matter. You are going over the top.
HUSBAND I’m not going over the top, sweetheart. This is no joke.
WIFE So what is it?
HUSBAND That’s right. ( approaching his Wife with the knife, first she looks puzzled but as things progress, she is frightened) Bitter truth. ( standing over her with the knife).
WIFE I beg of you! Step back. What’s going on with you?
HUSBAND Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing is going on with me.
WIFE Take that knife away, please…
HUSBAND It was a few days after this letter was written ( drawing away with the knife, encircling her). It was when we moved in together. Do you remember?
WIFE ( hesitating, looking at him carefully) Please, calm down… you look strange… you have gone pale…your hands are trembling…
HUSBAND I am calm. ( trying to control himself, putting the knife away) It’s only that whenever I went to bed, he accompanied me, I felt his presence, he lay down between us, when I took you in my arms, he was already inside you… Do you remember what was going on with me? ,
WIFE You were wild, violent and…
HUSBAND And
WIFE And terrible as if you were possessed, I couldn’t harness you…
HUSBAND It was then that I was killing him inside you…
WIFE Poor thing!
HUSBAND And it was like that every night…. every single night…
WIFE During all those years?
HUSBAND During all those years… He was between us and I was killing him inside you…on and on…. For half a century…( taking another knife, approaching his Wife with it) And this is another knife…. I also stabbed your heart with it. I was roaming marketplaces, bazaars, shops…
WIFE And you killed me each time?
HUSBAND Yes, each time I killed you. Look ( showing her the knives)… How many are there?
WIFE I’ve never counted them….I just know they were…
HUSBAND What were they like?
WIFE This made me wonder…
HUSBAND What made you wonder?
WIFE How beautiful they were, how unique…
HUSBAND Did you notice that?
WIFE Yes, I did…
HUSBAND Because I wanted there to be beauty in that ….
WIFE ( covering her face) In the killing?! This is insanity, after all!
HUSBAND Each knife was unique….Just look …( taking the other ones, relishing them and then putting away)… Look, what a delight…this…or that….look at the handle…this one made of ebonite… that one of pearl….that one of ivory….that one of antler….And this one is an alloy whose components are aluminium and vanadium… This one’s silver….that one’s amber… Each one is different…
WIFE Do you realise you are abnormal?
HUSBAND I might have become abnormal during all these years.
WIFE Not during all these years, but all along.
HUSBAND ( ignoring her words) And this?
WIFE What do you mean, “this”? These ropes, cords, lines, mooring ropes?…
HUSBAND Yes, these ropes, lines, mooring ropes…
WIFE Another obsession of yours?
HUSBAND Did you know?
WIFE ( clutching her head) My God! You are really nuts!
HUSBAND Each time we made love, I hanged you.
WIFE You stabbed my heart with a knife.
HUSBAND Or I hanged you. Look…. ( indicating the wall with cords)
WIFE Goodness me! No?!… Well, I never?! For God’s sake! …You’re lying!? … Your fantasy is carrying you away! You are toying with me?!… You’re joking?!
HUSBAND No, sweetheart, I’m not joking. Each night we made love and that man was between us, taking you, I stabbed your heart with a knife or put a noose around your neck…. Or both…
WIFE Just because I wrote this one single sentence?
HUSBAND Yes, just because. Because this one sentence profoundly hurt me….took away my inner peace for the rest of my life…
WIFE ( angrily getting up, circulating ) You fool! You madman!… You didn’t understand what it meant…
HUSBAND I understood only too well…
WIFE So what?
HUSBAND “I’m not worthy of you.”
WIFE But what does this mean?
HUSBAND This means that you betrayed me. And you are eating humble pie.
WIFE ( furious, going at her Husband) You blind man! What on earth did you do?! You are taken with some persecution mania! Some paranoid condition?!…
HUSBAND Sweetheart, calm down, please…
WIFE How am I supposed to calm down after what I heard?! All that nonsense?! Insane ravings?! This lunacy?!…
HUSBAND But nothing happened after all.
WIFE And what was supposed to happen?! You were about to kill me and nothing happened?! And how am I supposed to carry on living? How am I supposed to look at you when you come near me? Do you understand what you did?! You…you.. lousy dog!
HUSBAND But still…
WIFE What do you mean, “but still”?!… Each night you stabbed my heart with a knife and now I am supposed to come to terms with it? Nothing happened?! Something did happen, you lunatic. Something did happen!
HUSBAND I got a grip over myself…. I fought a hard struggle…. Respect it. Appreciate it…. For fifty years I bottled that monster up….
WIFE And? Did the monster disappear? Did it evaporate? It’s no longer there?! You fool?! You madman! He is still living within you and eating up the remains of your reason. How could you destroy, deform…and kill such a beautiful love?!
HUSBAND I didn’t destroy it… I fought for it…
WIFE How? With a knife in your teeth?! And with a noose around my neck?! That’s how you fought?! And I gave you all my life. See what you have done, you paranoid!
HUSBAND But this sentence…
WIFE Silent, you damned fool! For half a century I was doting on you as f you were an icon… Everything was for you…. Every day was for you….I got up at dawn thinking of you….Only of you…I wanted you to be happy, I wanted each new day to fill you with joy……( acting ) “Shall I get you a coffee, love? Or some fruit? Or shall I massage your arm? How is the writing going on?” Do you remember?
HUSBAND But this sentence…
WIFE What sentence, you idiot?! Which one?! You didn’t understand it at all. It was a homage for you, a love song…
HUSBAND “I’m not worthy of you”?
WIFE Yes, you fool. I’m not worthy of you. Because I wasn’t.
HUSBAND Why?
WIFE Because for me you were a myth, a legend, a dream….I went to sleep with you and I woke up with you only. I didn’t live up to you. You, a great writer adored by the crowds, respected, admired… The newspapers were full of your portraits…The radio, the television, the interviews…And myself…mousy, unknown…. Hidden in a corner, a humble drafter…. That’s why I wasn’t worthy of you.
HUSBAND This is not true, I respected you…I adored you…I was crazy about you…
WIFE You respected me?! You were crazy about me?! With that murderous thought in your eyes? With a dagger in your teeth?! With each passing day you were murdering my love…My great feeling…dedication…my service….devotion….Nothing but you…always you… For half a century…you and you…No one else but you…
HUSBAND And the other letter?
WIFE Which one?
HUSBAND Well, the one which you write after a month’s stay abroad: “I can’t break free from the burdens which I have come to live with now.” What burdens were those? Betrayals?
WIFE What kind of betrayals?! When I was abroad, I thought of you all the time. I was close to insanity thinking that I was losing you…Because you weren’t heard from…You didn’t say a word…You kept quiet… Those were the burdens …those heavy thoughts….
HUSBAND ( prowling around his Wife with a cord in his hands, silent) Really?
WIFE Yes, really.
HUSBAND ( after a moment’s silence to himself) Meaning…memory … sense… what sense does it make?….
WIFE What are you saying?
HUSBAND ( silent, staring at the wall with the knives, then at the wall with the cords, then at his Wife)
WIFE Say something, make a sound, why did you fall silent so suddenly…
HUSBAND ( circulating with a cord, his head is bent and finally he disappears into visible doors, opens them…)
WIFE Wait… please… let us salvage our world… it may not be too late…perhaps we will succeed…
HUSBAND (standing in the doors, turning back and staring at his Wife for a long time, without a word, saying) Forgive…(in a quiet voice and then without a word closing the door, there is a long silence…then suddenly there is a bang, an impact as if someone fell down…)
WIFE ( looking at the bedroom, there is poignant silence, the Wife runs towards the door, opens it, freezes, screams) No!
The End
January 10th, 2025
